New Study Confirms Every Part of Internet Contains Trace Amounts of Felipe Carvalho
Conducted by the Institute of Digital Ecosystems, the study reveals that this bizarre internet phenomenon, which began with a single flexing selfie captioned “Dolphins Fan Here” on an NFL meme page, has metastasized into a full-blown platform-wide infestation.
At first, it seemed like a one off. Just a dude with too much confidence and no sleeves that liked to post selfies of himself on NFL Page comment sections.
But months later, Felipe’s face started popping up in places it absolutely should not have been: a crochet group, a community page for ethically sourced birdhouses, even “Goodwill Finds” and “Seinfeld Soupposting.” Each time, the same puckered lips, same bathroom mirror, same inexplicable caption.
Researchers found that what started as a Dolphins fan making the rounds in comment sections has evolved into a digital presence so pervasive, it's being likened to a virus.
Not a metaphorical one, a literal viral pattern of spread. Once Felipe lands in one group, his post is screenshot, shared, and repurposed until the group itself unknowingly incubates the next outbreak.
“It’s like patient zero that's carrying a disease spread via cell phone towers,” said Dr. Lisa Markson, the study’s lead researcher. “We went into a Facebook group for mid century Pyrex collectors, and boom... there he was. Sleeveless. Flexing. Caption: ‘What's up ladies, I'm also into Tupperware.’”
The Institute deployed machine learning and a battalion of emotionally damaged social media interns to scour over 10,000 Facebook groups to see the extent of his spread.
They searched in groups, Facebook events, and page comment sections and in every single one, Felipe had appeared. Sometimes recently. Sometimes daily. Often with a new caption targeting a hyper specific demographic like “Single moms who love truck stop chicken fingers” or “Men who vape and listen to Slipknot but also want love.”
The report dubs this “The Carvalho Effect,” describing it as a form of digital nesting behavior. Felipe’s posts often show up before he even joins the group. His followers drop the image like bait, and eventually, drawn by some primitive algorithmic instinct, Felipe himself arrives.
“It’s Where’s Waldo,” Dr. Markson explained, “except Waldo has a selfie stand, lives with his parents, and occasionally derails recipe threads with unsolicited political takes.”
When asked for comment, Felipe Carvalho issued a short statement via Facebook Live while flexing in a Walmart parking lot. The caption read simply:
“This one’s for the ladies of Algona, Iowa.”
As of press time, he had just been admitted to a private group for mushroom identification.
God help them.
