Nicholas Cage Accidentally Channels Cosmetic Queen in Madden Film
It was reported this week that actor Nicholas Cage mistakenly performed half of his upcoming John Madden biopic portraying not the legendary football commentator, but rather as a 66-year-old black woman named "Joan Madden."
This confusion stemmed from an apparent typo in an email Cage received while preparing for his role in isolation.
"Mr. Cage, due to a simple email typo, accidentally spent over a year meticulously researching the role of John Madden by immersing himself in the life and habits of Joan Madden, a powerhouse Mary Kay legend known for dominating the high stakes world of female cosmetics sales," Cage's agent sheepishly explained to TMZ.
Upon arriving on set, Cage immediately raised eyebrows when he nervously asked the makeup crew if the extensive makeup required for his portrayal might "come off as racially insensitive."
Bewildered but assuming it was just Cage’s trademark method acting eccentricity, the makeup artists politely ignored his queries, continuing to prep him in full prosthetics.
"We genuinely thought he was doing a bit," one makeup technician recounted.
"But he kept muttering anxiously in character, saying things like 'Child, you think the Twitter gonna crucify me for this?' and 'Y'all sure Oprah ain't gonna roast me alive?' We decided he was probably going for some meta-commentary thing, and just went with it."
Once outfitted in a full fat suit, curly wig, and intricate makeup, Cage stared silently into the mirror for several long, awkward minutes.
Eventually, he whispered, visibly concerned, "Will they CGI me the rest of the way?" The crew, still confused but unwilling to question the academy award winner, simply nodded in unison.
Without substantial footage of Joan Madden to rely upon, Cage’s preparation involved binge-watching numerous Tyler Perry movies and embedding himself into community events and church gatherings in Joan’s hometown of Pine Bluff, Arkansas.
Locals there recall Cage enthusiastically participating in Sunday gospel services, cookouts, and community bake sales, all the while assuming this was essential research for the John Madden biopic.
The confusion only deepened once Cage began script readings. Cast members noticed that Cage kept inserting Southern colloquialisms and motivational quips clearly intended for a boardroom or beauty product pitch rather than football commentary.
Cage’s co-stars politely smiled and exchanged worried glances as he passionately improvised lines like, "Honey, this foundation coverage is flawless," in response to game highlights and strategy breakdowns.
Months into filming, the mistake finally became clear when John Madden's actual family visited the set, and Cage slowly pieced together what had happened.
Deeply embarrassed but ever dedicated, Cage took a one-month hiatus to thoroughly study the correct character.
However, since much of the film was already completed, producers decided to keep filming rather than scrap the entire project. Ultimately, the film will retain the scenes where Cage portrays an over-the-top Joan Madden while filming the remainder with Cage portraying a more traditional, John Madden.
