Angel Reese Launches Anti-Cyberbullying Charity Clothing Line—Tweets that Caitlin Clark Hasn’t Done Shit for the Cause
CHICAGO, IL – WNBA star Angel Reese today announced her heartfelt commitment to ending online toxicity with the launch of her new clothing line, "Mebounds." 3% of the proceeds, she vowed, will be dedicated to charities fighting the scourge of cyberbullying.
"Thank you all for coming to this incredibly important and, frankly, brave event," she began, her voice thick with emotion. "But before I get to the profound matter at hand, I was just curious if anyone caught CC's little 'oopsie' against the Valkyries the other night? Missing shots left and right. Tragic... But I'm not surprised. Been Tweeting for years that girl is overrated AF."
A lone cough echoed through the silent hall.
"I mean, people give me a hard time online, saying I put up bricks," Reese continued, waving a dismissive hand.
"I saw a tweet the other day about Caitlin that had me rolling... Might have been my tweet... It said homegirl wasn't just laying bricks against the Valkyries, she was building luxury condos with full amenities. The foundation was shaky, the construction was shoddy... it was savage AF..." She looked around the room awaiting laughs from the press.
"But where was I going with this? Oh, right," she said, her expression shifting back to one of deep sincerity. "Charity. And stopping the hate."
Reese then unveiled the centerpiece of her campaign: the "Mebounds" apparel line. "The name is about rebounding from negativity," she explained. "It's also a clever little nod to how I get many of my rebounds after my own shots, which is a legitimate and highly skilled basketball strategy. It’s not just, you know, chucking it from the logo and hoping for the best. That’s not a strategy I use... that’s a prayer. And last I Tweeted about it, it's yielded zero ships." She said pointing to her ring finger.
She held up a t-shirt emblazoned with the "Mebounds" logo. "Every purchase of this shirt, these hoodies, these tastefully designed sweatpants, will benefit those who are ruthlessly and unfairly attacked on the internet for trivial things. Things like, hypothetically, having a bad shooting night, or getting a massive Nike deal you maybe haven't earned yet, or just generally being the media's darling for no discernible reason."
Leaning into the microphone, she lowered her voice to a whisper. "Just out of curiosity... does that... well, you know... that hack over in Indiana donate any of her massive Nike fortune to fight bullying?"
