PBS Plans to Air Rival Halftime Show that Features Martha Stewart Making Nachos Topless

Written By Drew Forbes

PBS announced today it will air a live, commercial-free rival special directly opposite the Super Bowl LIX halftime show.

The special, titled Fire Nachos: A Bare Essentials Guide with Martha, will feature 84 year old lifestyle icon Martha Stewart preparing a gourmet nacho platter from scratch, topless.

The move is radically different from the norm for PBS, known more for historical documentaries and educational children's programming than for topless cooking content.

PBS President and CEO Paula Kerger clarified the network's strategy, positioning it as an alternative for underserved viewer demographics.

"We don't feel particularly strong about Bad Bunny doing the Super Bowl Halftime show… we just want to offer an alternative form of entertainment for those that just wanna see Martha's ageless yams while she makes a fire batch of nachos," said Kerger.

The network was surprisingly candid about the special’s target audience, insisting the move was driven by market opportunity rather than cultural commentary.

"This isn't political. We're not angry about a halftime show being partly in Spanish," Kerger’s statement continued. "We just think this checks more boxes for Martha Stewart fans, stoners that aren't really that into football or music but love nachos, and other people that just wanna nod to a stranger at a Super Bowl party and spark up small talk like, 'Damn... 84... Would'."

Drew Forbes

Drew was raised by his 3 dads on an Emu farm in Humboldt, Iowa. He has an irrational fear of cockroaches, and seafood restaurants that leave some of the skin on the fish they serve. In August, 2019 Drew blacked out drinking bourbon Manhattans, and when he woke up the next morning this website had been created. Drew doesn’t have a beard, but if he decided to grow one it would easily become the most interesting thing about him. When he grows up some day, he wants to die.

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