Iowa State Fair Butter Sculpture Depicts Caitlin Clark Getting Her Eye Gouged Out During WNBA Game

Jul 25

The Iowa State Fair has canonized Caitlin Clark in another butter sculpture. This year's masterpiece, a 500-pound dairy diorama, shows Clark driving to the lane while an opponent drives her finger into Clark’s butter eyeball attempting to blind her.

The fair dubs it a tribute to the "essence of Clark's early professional career: inspiring, historic, and with Clark getting physically assaulted."

"Peace is an inactive medium," declared Marnie Feldstein, the fair's Butter Art Department head, while admiring her team's work.

"Butter, in its soul, craves conflict. We wanted to represent her WNBA legacy by showing her growing the league's revenue and getting assaulted for it in the same instant."

The sculpture’s plaque drives the point home: “Caitlin Clark: Lifting the Game, Losing Her Eyesight.”

Kind natured Iowans are having trouble with the premise. "I had to explain to my kid what a flagrant foul was. Why that player wouldn’t be just playing basketball with Clark, rather than trying to blind her for life." said local Burt Fowler.

"It was a difficult conversation to have while gesturing with a corn dog wrapped in bacon."

Still, the artistry is undeniable, especially the sheen on Clark's buttery cornea, which one critic called "a glistening monument to on-court aggression."

Whispers suggest next year's sculpture may be an interactive piece where visitors can watch a butter based referee ignore the foul in real time.

Drew Forbes

Drew was raised by his 3 dads on an Emu farm in Humboldt, Iowa. He has an irrational fear of cockroaches, and seafood restaurants that leave some of the skin on the fish they serve. In August, 2019 Drew blacked out drinking bourbon Manhattans, and when he woke up the next morning this website had been created. Drew doesn’t have a beard, but if he decided to grow one it would easily become the most interesting thing about him. When he grows up some day, he wants to die.