Former Puppy Bowl MVP Says in Podcast Puppy Bowl is Rigged
Only a day after a former Bucs player came forward to claim the Super Bowl is rigged, Matilda the Beagle has come forward with a similar claim about the puppy bowl.
“It’s all just a game. A rigged game designed to stuff the pockets of Vegas fat cats. Who are literally cats by the way, most people don’t know that.” Said the 2009 Puppy Bowl MVP, Matilda the Beagle while taking a long drag of her cigarette. “They want you to think it’s all legit. That these soft lil puppies are actually competing to the best of their abilities on an even playing field, but it’s all a lie. Everything is pre-determined. The Puppy Bowl is all a huge fucking scam, sheeple.”
Matilda went on to have a brief career after her appearance in the Puppy Bowl in 2009, acting in various commercials and movies before falling off the map in 2013 after her divorce with Pickles the Pug. The former athlete was in and out of drug rehab facilities over the next several years, before retiring permanently to Scottsdale where she’s working on writing an autobiography. She decided to come forward to us with her story about the Puppy Bowl after former Bucs player, Dwight Smith did the same during a Tampa area podcast yesterday.
“The NFL and dog sports are all exactly the same. It’s all about the money, and the chow. Whoever has the money, gets the chow. So no one’s going to leave anything to chance.” Said the 12 year old Matilda in her studio apartment decorated in hundreds of tennis ball paintings. “For the people watching, they get a cute few minutes to go ‘awwwwww, look at the pretty puppies’. They assume there’s no victims, but there are. I’ve had to live with this lie for almost 12 years now, it’s why I drink. For the people pulling the strings, they get a sure thing bet where they stand to make hundreds of dollars. For us… The athletes, we get almost nothing. A few belly rubs maybe, an extra lap around the neighborhood on our morning walk, the prestige of being the most valuable puppy… But we don’t see any of the cash, man. We get a small taste of glory, then we’re told to go off and die somewhere, quietly. Well I’m done being quiet. The people need to know the truth.”
