Chiefs Hire O.J. Simpson to Mentor Patrick Mahomes Through “Off-Field Distractions”
Determined to make another Super Bowl run, the Kansas City Chiefs have hired former NFL and movie star O.J. Simpson as a personal consultant to quarterback Patrick Mahomes to help him “cut out the distractions” from his personal life that some believe are impacting his play.
“Patrick’s dealing with a lot right now,” said head coach Andy Reid. “We felt like we needed someone with experience navigating intense public scrutiny, off-field drama, and… complicated personal situations. O.J. checks every box. He was balancing football, acting, and family pressures decades before social media even existed. I tried helping Patrick myself, but honestly, I’m out of my depth. So I figured, hell, let the Juice take a stab at it.”
While Mahomes’ on-field stats have dipped this season, insiders point to possible off-field distractions. Like being roped into his little brother and wife’s choreographed TikTok dance offs during his training sessions. The Chiefs believe Simpson brings the kind of real-world expertise you just can’t get from analytics.
“It’s been… eye-opening,” said Mahomes. “The Juice has already taught me a lot, mostly about composure, silence, and wiping down surfaces. He checks in constantly. Always wants to know who’s at my house, where the blind spots in the security cameras are, how many sets of keys exist, and whether I’ve recently changed the locks ‘just to be safe.’ He even offered to ‘handle Jackson’ a few times. I think he meant, like, keep him out of trouble. Which is a lot to offer.”
Mahomes continued. “He double-checks my SUV’s gas tank and tire pressure every morning and says things like, ‘Always be ready to drive south. Real south. Fast.’ Honestly, the guy’s super thoughtful. Real attention to detail. He even brought me gloves that were clearly too small for the winter months and when I said so, he smiled and said, ‘Perfect.’”
